(This was really, really fun. Let me know if you want me to continue it!)
This, she swears as she kneels on the leafy forest floor, glaring up at her captors with a scowl marring her features, is the last time she ever goes riding without an escort of armed guards.
"Well, look what we’ve got here," one of the men crows triumphantly, taking in the sight of Regina in all her finery. Even in her riding clothes, its obvious she is of noble blood, no doubt exactly the kind of prey they had been hoping they would find. For Regina knows exactly who they are, the bandits that have been plaguing these forests for a few months now. They claim to fight for the common people, stealing from the rich to give to the poor, and so far any attempts to stop them have failed. Regina glares daggers at him as he reaches out to run his hand across her shoulder, feeling the expensive fabric beneath his fingers. "I think someone would pay a fine sum to have this one back, don’t you think?"
"Get your hands off me," Regina hisses, pulling back away from his touch. "Show some respect."
"Stand down, Much," orders the tall, scruffy one with his bow slung over his back. He and the portly fellow to his left seem to be the two leaders of the group, and Regina finds she recognizes both of their faces from the wanted posters. The one who touched her is unfamiliar to her, but she forces the thought from her mind. Her eyes linger on the leader—was his name Robert or something like that?—for perhaps a little longer than she should, studying him as he approaches her. "You know we usually don’t take hostages."
"She doesn’t have anything of value on her," the large man argues. "But I’m sure someone would be willing to pay to get her back."
"That isn’t how we do things, Little John. We do not take hostages. We’re not barbarians. We’re bandits."
"I fail to see the difference," Regina quips, looking up at him with fire in her eyes still.
He blinks in surprise, as if he had forgotten that she was there. Now it is his turn to eye her curiously, as if appraising her—and if Regina didn’t know better, she would say he almost seemed impressed by her barbed wit and sharp tongue. “I apologize for these circumstances, milady,” he says, taking another step towards her. “I can promise you that my men and I mean you no harm.”
"You should have thought of that before you attacked me and ran off my horse.”
He narrows his eyes at her. “Times are hard, milady. Many people are struggling. My Merry Men and I have pledged to do whatever we can to help.”
"By breaking the law."
"By stealing only from those who we know can afford the loss. Those who live in excess and will no more feel the loss of their trinkets than they feel the pain of those who are starving right under their very noses."
For some reason, his words make Regina’s stomach clench. “People like me.”
"Well, to put it simply, yes."
She opens her mouth to speak, wondering if she can appeal to him to release her. Ordinarily Regina would hold her head up high and accept whatever fate they had in store for her—she was a queen, and queens did not negotiate with bandits—but this man—Robin Hood, Robin of Locksley, she remembers now, seems reluctant to hold her for ransom despite the suggestions of his men. If she can just get him to let her go…
There is a shout, and Regina jumps as she hears the thunder of horses’ hooves. She’s been gone too long. A search party has been sent for her after all, it seems. She’s shocked that anyone in the palace even cares enough to look for her.
"Robin!" Little John cries out, eyes wide. "We cannot stay here."
Robin Hood glances around as the hoofbeats grow closer, unsure of what to do. Then his hand is closing around Regina’s wrist without warning, gently but firmly pulling her to her feet. “Apologies, milady,” he says, not sounding sorry at all—merely anxious, eager to leave undetected before they are caught. “She comes with us.”
And that is how Regina finds herself a captive of Robin Hood and his notorious Merry Men.
i am genuinely paranoid that everyone secretly hates me and thinks i am really annoying and ugly and is pretending to be my friend and it’s all part of some big joke
HOW IS THIS THE FIRST TIME I’VE SEEN THIS IT’S ALMOST AT 10 MILLION WTF
THIS IS MORE THAN DEAN WITH GYM SHORTS! WHAT
Why is dean in gym shorts always mentioned when a picture is put up to be the most reblogged thing on tumblr?
Rob talking about a stalker he had in Spain.
HE COMPLAINED ABOUT HIS LIFE.
TO A FAN.
FOR TWO STRAIGHT HOURS.
Bless this man.
the man. the myth. the legend.
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